In tonight’s speech, John McCain used a line I’ve heard him use more than once on the stump :

I’ve fought the big spenders in both parties, who waste your money on things you neither need nor want, and the first big-spending pork-barrel earmark bill that comes across my desk, I will veto it. I will make them famous, and you will know their names. You will know their names.

He’s already lived up to half of his promise :

I’m not sure if introducing the country to Porky Palin and her federal money-addicted town is exactly what he had in mind though.

As “jumped the shark” applies to television and “nuked the fridge” applies to movies, lemme just say that, in the realm of politics, the Republican National Convention really “earned the desk” last night :

Why is it that the GOP seems to think that American elections should all just be a giant veteran-fluffing competition? You know how I like to honor the military? By trying to keep our soldiers (which includes my step-brother who’s currently in Iraq) from being murdered by Iraqi extremists and by reuniting them with their families.

However this election plays out, one thing is certain: a lot of the merchandise in my store will be obsolete. I think I’m going to shut the whole thing down in a couple of weeks and revamp it all from scratch, probably with a more limited selection. So if there’s anything there you want, grab it now.

Rudy Giuliani is making fun of people with “cosmopolitan” tastes?

Really?

Sarah Palin, tonight :

“Here’s how I look at the choice Americans face in this election. In politics, there are some candidates who use change to promote their careers. And then there are those, like John McCain, who use their careers to promote change.”

Mystery Men :

Mr. Furious: Okay, am I the only one who finds these sayings just a little bit formulaic? “If you want to push something down, you have to pull it up. If you want to go left, you have to go right.” It’s…

The Sphinx: Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage…

Mr. Furious: …your rage will become your master? That’s what you were going to say. Right? Right?

The Sphinx: Not necessarily.

–Were those Greek columns behind Bush? Does he think he is a Greek god?

–Eight years giving speeches as president, and he still looks like he’s about to break into laughter at any moment.

–Is it really appropriate for a sitting president to denounce Americans so explicitly (”the Angry Left”)? I thought decorum required at least a pretense of being above the fray.

… also: the GOP is so desperate to portray McCain as a “maverick” (i.e., not a continuation of the Bush dynasty) that they highlight, during prime time, the fact that he used to date a stripper…? The family values party gets stranger by the day.

…. and: “The respect [McCain’s] given around the world is not because of a Teleprompter speech designed to appeal to America’s critics abroad.” So said Fred Thompson, who I’m absolutely certain wasn’t using one of them fancy Teleprompter machines at the time.

I like to think of conventions like reunion shows for a band that nobody listens to anymore. For the Dems last week, the band sounded like they did at their peak. The nailed every song and even the stuff they played from their new album was really good. Even the guys you were completely sick of kicked ass.

For the Republicans, however, you’re just reminded why you hated their band in the first place. They’re playing the same crappy songs you’ve heard a million times before and you can totally tell their hearts aren’t in it. Then again, it’s hard to avoid seeming stuck in the past when your two frontmen are a patronizing old guy from TV who always sounds like he’s tired and an attention-seeking droopy dog who thrives on publicly trashing his bandmates.

“It is a political tradition that Americans understand that families aren’t part of political campaigns.” –Rush Limbaugh, the man who once likened a young Chelsea Clinton to a dog, on his radio program today.

McCain’s selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate certainly demonstrates one thing: living through the decadent phase of the American empire is going to be REALLY EXCITING. It could only have been more surprising if McCain had chosen a polyp from his large intestine.

McCain-McCain’s Polyp ‘08
Putting Country First!

A well-functioning empire would produce presidential and vice-presidential candidates for both parties who (1) are experienced in running the empire, and (2) operate predictably within a narrow framework. And indeed, the US empire used to be like that. Eisenhower-Nixon gave way to Kennedy-LBJ. When Goldwater captured the nomination in 1964 with some real psycho vibes, the liberal imperial mainstream could easily crush him—because the empire, then at its height, had the breathing room to offer lots of inducements to regular Americans. Then it was back to Nixon, a competent imperial manager.

The ascendancy of Reagan, who was just slightly less insane than Goldwater, indicated the system was under stress. Still, he was surrounded by people like George H.W. Bush and James Baker, who kept him from going off the deep end. Bush-Quayle and Clinton-Gore supervised a period of needed imperial retrenchment.

But over the past eight years, things have truly gone off the rails. In previous times, destructive nutjobs like Cheney might have been in the room when decisions were made, but they certainly never had the final word. Yet there he is, cackling with glee as he sets fire to one after another of the empire’s supporting columns. And the sane imperial managers haven’t been able to do anything about it.

The failure of the sane imperial managers—*cough* Kerry *cough* New York Times—isn’t due to their own personal faults. It’s because there’s much less slack in the system than there used to be. The empire no longer has the means to keep itself running in a rational way while simultaneously buying lots of people off.

Bush-Cheney have screwed up so badly there might be one last, small opening for sane managers like Obama-Biden. “Vote for us, and we’ll give you a better-run empire, and, and…gay marriage!” However, while there is a long-term constituency for this, it’s a pretty small one.

So before long, there will only be two options for the people who want to run things. First, they could organize a rational liquidation of much of the empire, which would free up enough resources to create a long-term winning coalition. Second, they could go completely bugfuck nuts, and try to maintain the empire while cutting back on all social benefits and counting on the thrills of military triumph and chialism to keep them in power. What won’t be possible is the Obama-Biden approach.

In other words, the days of a rational American empire are drawing to a close. We’ll be forced to discard either the empire part, or the rational part. And based on 10,000 years of human history, I’m guessing it’s the rational part that will go.

Whether McCain wins or not, Sarah Palin is a harbinger of the future. The fact there was no one able to prevent McCain from choosing such an obviously inadequate imperial manager, and choosing her in such a bizarre, panicked way, indicates that—as during the decline of Rome, or the last years of Saddam’s regime—everyone sane has already been eliminated from the power structure. And thus we’re left with nothing but the whim of whoever’s clambered to the top of the Crazy Pole.

Welcome to the Terrordome!

A long travel day, nice to be home. Don’t know yet how it played on tv, but the Invesco stadium was an astonishing place to be in person.

Photos and thoughts to follow in more depth, but one quick note. I hear the commentariat have been babbling on about the Greek columns behind Obama. Maybe somebody has already figured this one out — as I have noted previously it’s hard to keep up with the media babble when you’re in the center of the media storm — but the set behind Obama was clearly meant to invoke the White House, not Greek gods. There were windows and doors on the thing, for chrissakes. (Pix to follow, too tired tonight.)

I mean, come on. Get a fucking clue, pundits.

(PS: anybody’s got one of those cool vari-vue passes the public had that you’re willing to part with, email me. We’ll figure out a good trade.)

The eight most dreaded words in the English language are “the vice presidents office is on the phone”?

Really??